fingerpaint the sky

till everything shines

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I have committed fic again.
[misc] dreamers
This is for bookelfe, because it's all her fault.

This is also SPOILER-TASTIC for the ending of Princess Tutu; seriously, do not read this unless you've seen the whole thing. (If you haven't seen any Princess Tutu at all, I'm afraid it'll make no sense whatsoever. Also you should totally remedy that ASAP, as it's a fabulous anime.)

From The Ashes

When I'm with Drosselmeyer, the only sounds are the gears going clicka clicka clicka and my drum. Sometimes Drosselmeyer laughs, in time with the gears. Ha-clicka-ha-clicka-ha-clicka-ha. His teeth are big and white and shiny. I stare at them.

I bang my drum in rhythm. Zura zura, zura zura. It sounds like a beating heart. Zu-ra, zu-ra, zu-ra.

Very good, little Uzura! Drosselmeyer laughs, and we watch somebody through the gears and windows. The story goes everywhere.

But I remember how to step outside it. When he's not looking, I go back to the places that used to be story. I go back and I talk to my other friends.


I see Fakir. I see Charon. I bang my drum for Mytho: zura zura for his heart, zura zura for the way everybody else watched him. Zura zura zura. Sometimes I see Mytho and Rue. Their hearts beat in their chests, but I bang my drum anyway. They smile at me. Mytho smiles more.

I see Duck.

I miss girl-Duck. Duck ran around on long tall legs and bounced off of walls and smiled at me. Girl-Duck talked with her heart in every word: zura zura zura zura.

Now Duck has big blue Duck-eyes and a yellow duck-tail and skinny paddling legs. She hugs my ankle with soft feathers. She says, quack quack quack.

She puts wings to her heart and stretches them out to me. She puts a wing to her head, feathers spread like fingers. Fakir looks grumpy and says, she says she's still your friend, moron.

It's not the same.


I tell Fakir to change Duck back. Let her be both. Fakir writes, scritcha scritcha scritcha, and the world changes. Fakir wants her back too, zura.

Fakir shouts at me. Fakir says no.

I hug Duck and she catches my tears with her feathers, plip-plop-zura. But she doesn't turn into a girl again.


I don't know what to do.


I will grow up, clicka clicka. I will grow up like big-me, tall and pretty. But I don't want to be sad, like big-me. I want to keep my friends.

Big-me says to myself: this is the gem called maturity.

I listen to myself, wide-eyed. Ohhhhhhhh, I say. When I'm grown up, I'll know lots.

Big-me says to myself: this is the gem called being off-screen.

This is the gem called free will.

In my hands, the air sparkles.

Big-me smiles at little-me, and I look up up up at her.


The first gem is green and the second gem is white. I take them out of the gears, clicka clicka clicka, to the lake outside the story. I plop down under a tree and put down my drum. They fit into each other and turn, clicka clicka clicka STOP and then they don't turn any more and they don't come apart and I know they're stuck forever. I smile at them big and wide.

The third gem I keep. I put it inside my drum so I'll always have it and it rattles around, zu-ra-ra u-zu-ra zu-ra-ra.

Somebody is laughing, somewhere.

I take my drum with my gem inside, and the double gem that isn't mine anymore, and I go to find Duck.

Happiness will be ours, says big-me, and she sounds sad but she's smiling. I bang my drum: u-zu-ra u-zu-ra u-zu-ra, like a heart. Fakir will yell and Duck will hug me and I will never grow up big, clicka clicka clicka, but I'll always have my friends.

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I love you so much right now, I can't even articulate it.

Win, madame. Epic win.

*beams so much*


I LOVE YOU AND THIS SO MUCH. AS YOU KNOW. BUT I FEEL THE NEED TO REITERATE. Oh Uzura. Little girl with a heart, no matter what else she's given away.

Uzura loves you too-zura!

Which is to say, thank you, and glad you like it! :D

You made me upload this icon.

Also, this story is so much love. So much.


Uzura defies her fate. Happiness is not the usual reward for this in Tutuverse. Glory, yes. Happiness, no.

Uzura is just awesome (and powerful!) enough to break that rule. Unless it never was a rule at all, just one of Drosselmeyer's lies.

All rules of story are lies.

The only difference is that some of them have to be true to make a story; but they're all lies eventually, to some of us.

(That's why it's fiction, and books. That's why, for us, the "real" of a story will never replace reality, not really.)

Yeah; I debated the happiness line. I eventually left it in on the grounds that 1) Edel is not always right, especially when she's saying something that has all the hallmarks of one of Drosselmeyer's Pithy Sayings, and 2) Uzura is trading a piece of herself for happiness, not glory, and 3) she's giving up the hard possibilities of growing up for the happiness of stasis, at least sort of, and 4) just because happiness is (sometimes, allegedly, officially) the reward for accepting one's fate doesn't mean that's the only way to get happiness.

One could still argue it. But I left it in anyway. :)


fd;l yes this is perfect. :D!

*beams lots*

Glad you enjoyed it!

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Thank you! It's all Becca's fault; we were talking post-canon possibilities, and then she told me I had to write fic. And then she was right. *tragic* *or something*

Glad you liked it!

I have committed fic again.

But it is very good fic. Princess Tutu is the first (and to date, only full) anime I ever saw; I love it. This too is lovely.

Thank you! I'm glad you like it. :)

OMG. I have no words yet. It's *hugs* I love this fandom.

Me toooooooo. And thank you! :D

Similar icons ahoy!

genarti, this is fabulous even above and beyond my unholy love of post-canon _Princess Tutu_ fic.

Twice the creepy Drosselmeyer eyes for the price of one! OH GOODIE GUMDROPS.

Thank you ever so -- that's a wonderful compliment, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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ILU back! And I am totally not objecting to feedback of this nature. *grin* Although if you feel like getting specific about the odd word phrases that break it up, I'd be interested to hear; I posted this the same night I wrote it, and I will always gladly take concrit.

(And if you want to rewatch Tutu, I somehow suspect that that could be arranged, soon enough.)

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Oh, Azura. *clings to and hugs her*

This is -wonderful-, Gen.

*so glad Becca linked me to this*

Oh, thank you! :D I'm delighted you like it.

*hugs Uzura too*

This is the most amazingly creative Duck-turns-girl fic I've ever read.

Your Uzura voice had me from the first line, so engaging and charming! There is just so much I love about this--Uzura's childlike sorrow about Duck, her startling insight.

I love love the interaction between Edel and Uzura, that segment was my favorite--the humor in it, the sweetness, and the heartache. And then how everything worked, so beautifully left me with a feeling of simple childlike wonder at the end.

Oh, thank you so much! That's exactly what I was going for, and I'm beyond delighted that it worked for you.

I kind of adore Uzura -- although, to be fair, I kind of adore everyone in the entire series.

I cannot express to you how amazingly effective the use of onomatopoeia was.

Seriously. It highlights Uzura's innocent wisdom so well.

Gah. I'm still trying to process the amount of awesome in this fic. It's too much. I think I'm drowning.

And it's so good.

*loves you forever and ever*

Thank you so much! I'm blushing now. *grin* It was one of those fics that gets in your head and won't let go until you write it down, and I'm very glad it worked for you!

First of all, on an off topic, I really like your icon! It's so clever!

Okay, the story: it was fantastic! So DIFFERENT. And wonderful! I never even thought to get in Uzura's mind. This was wonderful crafted and the way you mixed the sounds and 'zura's in with her thoughts worked perfectly! WOW!

Thank you so much! I had tons of fun writing it -- at some ridiculously late hour of the night, I must confess, which probably helped with getting into Uzura's head -- and I'm beyond delighted that you enjoyed it. :)

As for the icon, I can claim no credit, but thank you! It's from bookelfe, who's made a whole bunch of Tutu icons both hilarious and serious.

Oh Zura. This is lovely, and I want to make *_* and ;_; faces at her at the same time, omg.

(Here via bookelfe's rec)

Thank you so much! I kind of adore Uzura; I must admit to having way too much fun with this. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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